2003-11-21 - 9:34 p.m.
11-15-03
Last night, I woke up the sound of my door rattling. Is that someone trying to break in to my apartment, I groggily thought. If so, I hope that he just plans to crawl in bed and act as a human electric blanket. But no, as soon as I felt the bed moving, I knew that it was my second earthquake. Remembering the sound advice on earthquake safety I received during my first day at Fuji, I tucked the pillow around my head, pulled the blankets up, and drifted back into a dream of warmer climates. No, seriously, that is the what you should do if ever caught in bed during an earthquake - cover your head with a pillow. Now, you may say, this sounds like just rolling over and going back to sleep. You’re right. But honestly, what else can you do? If the big one hits, I personally would rather just get the extra sleep than attempt futile means of safety.
I spent another day in my apartment, willing my body to get well. My only human contact came at night when another newbie (new AET) visited me. Don had come to borrow a movie but ended up staying to talk for two hours. I miss talking face to face with people and long conversation where I don’t have to pay attention to speaking slowly, pronunciation, and using small words. We end up going out for a very late dinner and I was introduced to a restaurant around the corner from my apartment - ahh, Western food, how I miss you.
During this long, traveling conversation, I realized that I have become extremely bitter towards men. Before Japan, I had come to the comfortable stage in my life when I could mostly view men as just people. Gender was like race or nationality - it played a role in shaping a person but didn’t define them. While most of my friends remained female, I knew SO many men that were truly good people. And perhaps that is the problem, that I hold the men I meet here to the good men I knew at home. Sadly, they mostly fall short. I could give a fifty page description of male behavior I have seen so far, but I will condense my feelings into this sentence: it seems that many Western men, no matter how progressive or sensitive they were back home, rejoice in Japan’s patriarchal society. Now, there are men that seem to still maintain a healthy respect for women here, but I am beginning to doubt even their virtue. And I swear on all that is holy, if I hear one more discussion of a Japanese woman’s ass, I’m renouncing the company of men and going a cloistered convent.
